No crying allowed.
Xander doesn’t cry, so Willow doesn’t cry. She learns. Grief is bad, grief upsets people. No one wants to see you cry. When people die, they disappear. They’re gone and you don’t think about them anymore.
But she does.
Willow and Xander never talk about Jesse. It’s as if it were always just the two of them. She senses Xander pulling away, little things that tell her he’s getting ready for the day when she disappears. She understands Marcie Ross, but that’s one more thing she doesn’t talk about.
At night, sometimes, when she’s alone, she pulls out the pictures of Jesse she has hidden way in the back of her closet, terrified that if it’s known that they are there, then the pictures too will disappear.
Many, many years later, she will understand why one more death made her want to end the world, to make them all disappear.